ENGL 200 D: Reading Literature: Literature in the Marketplace

Your first two paragraphs set up the Bitchun Society pretty well but I feel like there is a need to introduce your character a lot sooner. You also set up Dan’s motive through the book to commit suicide in your third paragraph but there isn’t a lot of reason why he wants to. That is stated pointblank in the novel but is necessary to comment on as his actions are related to this frame of mind. You bring up an interesting idea of the value of whuffie versus the value of friendship, this might be an idea you can further explain. Lastly, the ideas in your last two paragraphs, to me, are the most interesting and should become more of a focus throughout your paper.

I am not sure there is one discreet point you are trying to make here, but there is a lot of potential for pulling together what you are claiming. About halfway through your paper, you state “He will then acquire enough Whuffie where others admire him and then commit suicide. This desire to be wanted is driven by Whuffie. Only the most respected will be remembered even after their ‘deaths.'” I feel that this is the central theme of your paper, that Whuffie drives a strange sort of society, where even death seems favorable. I think you can state this sooner and focus many of your ideas towards this central theme.

It took quite awhile to bring in your character which distracted me a lot from the main idea. You might want to bring in Dan a little sooner because I felt as though I was reading a summary and the paper was focused on the idea of the society not Dan until you introduced him. It seems as though is how whuffie drives people to do what they do but it was hard to hone in on that one idea. Your ideas seem to be there but they just need to be more focused and direct.