ENGL 200 D: Reading Literature: Literature in the Marketplace

You have a lot of good ideas here. Overall, you are saying that Julius was never really meant to live in the Bitchun society? I like how you introduce Marx early into your discussion, but you may benefit from introducing him even sooner, drawing a quick parallel in about a sentence between Julius’s situation and Marx’s ideas. I think this would really focus your ideas and get them flowing. You discuss in your second paragraph how Julius is a very moral person. Do his ideas of right and wrong separate him from the rest of society? It seems like the Whuffie system makes all moral decisions and leaves people with no real reasoning of their own, so maybe Julius breaks the system by trying to reason on his own, paying little regard to the Whuffie system.

You pointed out something that I didn’t really think about-maybe Julius was never meant to be a part of the Bitchun Society. I think there could be a better transition from Julius to Marx. Perhaps you can begin the paragraph with Whuffe and then have Marx to support your ideas. I think you could explain a possible resolution or elaborate even further about Julius’s decision to go to space. And you could go even further on contrasting Julius and the Bitchun Society. Are there similarities? Since you talked about how Julius was a moral person, you can or don’t have to include Smith’s work.

I felt as though near the ending I was getting a lot of good information about Julius and I really liked how that was going. There are extra words in some of your sentences so you might want to fix those up as well. Overall the idea about how Julius parallels the society is a good way to go and I can see your ideas forming in the draft. Maybe including more on how Julius’s views are similar of dissimilar to the Bitchun society to really point out your main idea. Nice start.