Comments on: MP2RD – Theresa

By: Caitlin

Caitlin — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 05:17:02 +0000

I really like how you analyzed the characters as ideas and used their actions to support your theories. Taking the characters out as more than just people in a novel makes them immediately more intriguing to me. I agree that smoothing out the transitions between quotations and narration would be handy to the reader, and maybe introducing Marx in a sentence of how he connects to the larger idea before using a quote in the first paragraph would make it make more sense.

By: inezt

inezt — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:29:20 +0000

The way you analyze the economic system of Debra’s world is very clear and consise. From the beggining to end your interpretation of the merit-based economy in Debra’s world flows well. You incorporated Marx and Smith in your introduction by giving us how they would analyze the Bitchun Society by using thier ideologies. This is very helpful because I can see the connection between them and Debra’s society. Like you said your ending is very general and short but definitely makes your point. Maybe what you can do for your conclusion is just challenge the reader at the end, look into the future, or pose a question. You can help them to redirect the information in the paper, and they may apply it to their own lives.

By: pbl2

pbl2 — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 06:16:31 +0000

You do an awesome job of describing and analyzing the economic system that is the Bitchun Society. Also, you do a great job of analyzing who that society benefits and how Debra fits into this society.

When I was reading you paper, I didn’t feel that the thoughts were disjointed at all. It was very natural to follow the progression of your paper.

The only thing that I thought when I was reading was that you say her “morals are a product of Bitchun”, but she is thrown out of the Magic Kingdom when they find out what she has actually done. Her willingness to do anything to succeed ends up biting her in the butt. I’m not sure if raising that point in your paper makes any sense, but it was the first thing that I thought of when reading your concluding points.