Comments for ENGL 200 D: Reading Literature: Literature in the Marketplace

Comment on MP2RD – Theresa by Caitlin

Caitlin — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 05:17:02 +0000

I really like how you analyzed the characters as ideas and used their actions to support your theories. Taking the characters out as more than just people in a novel makes them immediately more intriguing to me. I agree that smoothing out the transitions between quotations and narration would be handy to the reader, and maybe introducing Marx in a sentence of how he connects to the larger idea before using a quote in the first paragraph would make it make more sense.

Comment on MP2 Draft – Phillip by Caitlin

Caitlin — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 05:08:56 +0000

I think your short summary at the beginning does a great job summing up the main points of the novel before adding in Marx and Smith at the end. It gives a good foundation before moving into more complex ideas. I would suggest maybe expanding on the ideas you present in your body paragraphs, I’m not sure if you want to, but you could expand into your own ideas a bit more.

Comment on Major Paper 2 Rough Draft – Chelsea by nmatson

nmatson — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 03:25:27 +0000

I like how you included Julius’ involvement with rebuilding the Haunted Mansion as another reason for his desire to keep on going, despite his failing body. Overall though it seemed pretty brief and general, but it is a pretty good start

Comment on MP2 RD: Inez by Caitlin

Caitlin — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 03:02:09 +0000

This looks like a fantatstic brainstorm of ideas that you want to touch on in your paper but for the final draft I would suggest finding a way to let the ideas flow a little more clearly from topic to topic. In your introduction for example, you might want to bring in Adam Smith and tie in how the two relate to eachother. That way Smith’s appearance in paragraph five won’t be such a surprise.

Comment on Major Paper 2 Rough Draft – Chelsea by cmh1027

cmh1027 — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 02:56:36 +0000

Yes that’s what I was aiming for. I definitely need to add lines from the story and explain how a couple more events tie in to my main point.

Comment on Major Paper 2 Draft – Caitlin by inezt

inezt — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 02:00:13 +0000

Sorry Caitlin my comment above was short I am at the public library and ran out of time on the computer. Where you talk about Golfinger and the type of system he lives in, “This system privileges the rich, especially the group known as “Old Money” meaning rich people whose families have been rich for a long time. Goldfinger and the rich Americans represented in the book are all examples of new money.” This is a big point I think what you can do is explain how his involvement with society develops his obesesion with gold.

Comment on Major Paper 2 Draft – Caitlin by inezt

inezt — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:49:31 +0000

I enjoyed reaading your essay because I like how you analyzed Goldfinger and his obessession with gold as villin. Your introductory paragraph does a good job of explaining what you are going to talk about. By using Bond to show the evilness of Goldfinger was well set. Definitely use painting women gold.

Comment on MP2 Draft – Phillip by inezt

inezt — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:41:32 +0000

Just as Theresa mentioned above I also like your explaination of Whuffie you make sure the reader understand what it is and how this affects Julius’s everyday life. Your essay is well structured, your connections with the other authors such as Marx and Smith are good as well. Talking about Julius being rich/ poor connected with what Smith talks about. I think that when you use Marx you can elabortate a little more with a couple of sentences about this idea, “Marx’s idea of the continuing cycle of achieving a goal leading to the creation of a new one is entirely prevalent in the Bitchun society and is brought to light by Julius.”

Comment on Major Paper 2 Rough Draft – Chelsea by yuviv

yuviv — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:39:52 +0000

I really liked how you analyzed the events of the story in some ways I’d never think of and we never even talked about in class! So is your main point that Julius’s goal is to ‘make history’-get revenge on Debra and acquire recognition? I definitely see how you mean for your points to tie into that, but I thought you could have explained and connected them more. Otherwise, it was a very clear and concise essay! Are you going to add in specific lines from the novel?

Comment on MP2RD – Theresa by inezt

inezt — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:29:20 +0000

The way you analyze the economic system of Debra’s world is very clear and consise. From the beggining to end your interpretation of the merit-based economy in Debra’s world flows well. You incorporated Marx and Smith in your introduction by giving us how they would analyze the Bitchun Society by using thier ideologies. This is very helpful because I can see the connection between them and Debra’s society. Like you said your ending is very general and short but definitely makes your point. Maybe what you can do for your conclusion is just challenge the reader at the end, look into the future, or pose a question. You can help them to redirect the information in the paper, and they may apply it to their own lives.